Shapeshifter Day 48 - mayor of thanksgiving
Nov 29, 2019
The day of thanksgiving is over for me, here in Bali.
I didn't do anything special in celebration - it was just pretty much another ordinary day with my daughter in Bail.
It's definitely not the first time, since I chose a nomadic lifestyle nearly seven years ago, that a holiday has slipped by without friends or family nearby to celebrate with.
However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a moment of sadness last night in which I yearned to laugh, to eat, to drink, to hug and to bask in the presence of people I care about most.
If ever I find myself in a state of yearning, which happens from time-to-time, the first order of business, is to just get okay as quickly as possible, with how I'm feeling.
No judgments, it is what it is...
Something I've learned over time is that there's a difference between allowing yourself to feel the feels and then questioning the truth of the stories you're telling that caused you to feel that way, with the intention of choosing new better feeling stories to tell...
and allowing yourself to feel what you feel whilst being consumed by it, and defining yourself by the shitty lack-filled stories you tell forevermore.
One is empowered surrender, the other is disempowered surrender.
I could facilitate a whole program on just this alone.
So back to my state of yearning...
I felt what I felt, affirming to myself that's it's all perfect, this is just a fleeting emotion and ultimately it's guiding me, with perfection, towards a higher understanding and a larger truth about me.
Then, in scenarios like these, I will usually ask myself some form of the question "what do I think the experience of _______ (whatever I'm yearning for) will give me, that I don't already have?"
Often I will journal it out, or just call upon the awareness in my mind, or in some cases - which was the case last night - I just seem to have too much invested in the experience of ‘XYZ’ to talk myself out of it and so I will take a nap with the intention of waking up to a willingness for new perspective and clarity of the gift this experience has provided me with.
Which is exactly what happened.
The combo of loving yourself through it + active intention of higher awareness is powerful AF.
Almost every time I brush up against yearning, it has something to do with the idea that love, attention, connection, and/or joy comes from some external source (which the "yearned" for, represents)
And every time I notice this feeling and question it, I remember that I actually, despite what my paradigms of limitation and separation would tell me, have all the love and connection and attention and joy available to me at all times.
My life can only ever reflect back to me what I think I am. It cannot give me, at least not in a sustainable way, the feelings that I desire to experience.
When I remember this, yet again, I set not only myself free - but the people I care about as well. I let them off the hook for needing to satisfy, please, or love me in any certain way and at that moment I awaken to even more of my divinity.
Now that is something to be thankful for.
I've always said, it's easy to love the lovable - meaning the experiences and conditions we prefer, but to love what feels unlovable, is true mastery.
I think that's the real core of the Thanksgiving message I'm trying to share here.
What if, on Thanksgiving, and every other day, we could find appreciation not only for the things that are easy to feel grateful for but also find perfection in the whole of experience; good, bad, right, wrong, desirable, undesirable, sacred and profane.
If you were to do this, not only do you become the Mayor of Thanksgiving ALL year long 🤣 but you would wield the power of the Divine Attitude, which is the key to true liberation and... well... everything else you think you're wanting.
This Thanksgiving, I could go on and on about the amazing things and people and magical scenarios in my life (which I do on a daily basis) but what I'm equally as grateful for, and what needs more love than anything, is the stuff that's been a little harder to appreciate.
It's those specific experiences that have allowed me, in ever greater capacities, to call upon the most magnificent heavenly experience of cosmic sovereignty, which makes all the other 'easy-to-be-grateful-for-stuff' not only possible but sustainable.
I am grateful for my bold devotion to the full remembrance of my divinity, and for all the times it's stripped me of my falsities and cracked me so wide open I didn't know if I could bear the raw, intense, vulnerability of it all.
I'm grateful for every sensation of longing, for it teaches me the truth of what I really am and shows me the absolute treasure chest of energetic resources I have available at my fingertips.
I'm grateful for all the times I've 'failed' miserably and unceremoniously fallen on my face because it's awakened my awareness to the truth that I don't have to depend on just 'my strength' alone, because that I have the strength of the whole universe on my side.
I'm grateful for all my less-than-desirable, sometimes downright heartbreaking, circumstantial manifestations because they've called me to lucidity in my dream of life, and they've sharpened my mastery of deliberate creation.
I'm grateful for every skin I've worn and every skin I've shed; all absolutely perfect and divine and necessary for my spiritual evolution.